I am a lifelong teetotaler. I also do not smoke cigarette. Not as a result of my desire to be righteous. But thanks to a strict father. Who would make a master sergeant peel in his pants. As I have leant in life. If somethings look like Heaven. There will be Hell to pay. Trying to be proper comes with its own occupational hazard.
I will never forget the day a certain millionaire politician invited his favorite journalists to his mansion for a night get together. He had gone to the trouble of killing a small goat for the occasion. It was an all-men small party. The occasion was going according to his plans. Until he noticed me hugging my bottle of Coca Cola. In utter disbelief, he approached me to enquire when I will start drinking the lots of beer in front of me. My friends explained to him that I do not drink alcohol. You could immediately see the excitement drop from his face. Smashing like a chandelier on his marble floor.
“Why did you guys bring a man like this to my house?” he asked the other journalists. They had my back. Explaining to him that I have always been a nondrinker. But a charming individual. Good to be around. The millionaire would not buy any of their defense on my behalf. As far as he was concerned, I was a pariah with the worst upbringing. He then proceeded to give my colleagues a lesson that changed their lives. Make them better Nigerians.
Listen to his logical summation on this crucial matter: ” This guy (yours truly) does not drink. We all drink. Soon we will all be drunk. And in our stupor. We are going to say lot of things. A lot of secrets will be uttered. A lot of nonsense too.
The only person in his right senses is this man that does not drink.” Giving me the look of disdain. He ended the hitherto nice occasion abruptly…. I ruined it for everyone.
Natasha Apoti-Uduaghan is me. She is in the Senate as a teetotaler. She also does not smoke Igbo. In the words of Wike. She is the sane one in the middle of the lunatics we call elected Senators. She is dangerous. Bad for business. Bad for Nigeria. We cannot afford to have a Senator like this amongst distinguished honorable members. She will report nefarious activities to the people and the world.
She might even accuse the Seante President of sexual abuse. We do not need such distraction from lackadaisical nitwits who are paid the wrath of God money to do absolutely nothing. Nataha Akpoti-Uduaghan is a bad disease that must not allowed to contaminate good Senators. She must go!
All in support say ……YEA!!!!
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