“My dear brother. I understand you were on the Dana flight that overshot the runway while landing at the Port-Harcourt International Airport”.
“Hmmm…Let us just give thanks to the Almighty God for His mercies. What would I have said?”
“But the real story is that, if there was an emergency situation or a fire outbreak, the Port-Harcourt International Airport still does not have any firefighting service unit stationed at the airport. There are no trucks or firefighting personnel at the airport to respond to emergency situations. One would have thought after the last air crash in Port-Harcourt that lessons would have been learned and critical infrastructure such as this put in place to avert national tragedies”.
Port-Harcourt International Airport has consistently been ranked one of the top three worst airports in the world. From the lack of cooling units to tents, absence of infrastructure, the whole airport is a national joke”.
“There is some construction going on. The minister has assured Nigerians of its commitment to improving the Port-Harcourt International airport. The tents will soon be a thing of the past. I am sure there is a committee working day and night to ensure that the terminal is ready in the second quarter of 2018”.
“All these rhetoric sound familiar. But do we need to wait for the second quarter to get firefighting equipment at the airport?”“But do you know for a fact that there are no firefighting trucks stationed at the airport? It sounds too ludicrous to comprehend. Be careful of spreading unconfirmed rumors. In any event, if there is no firefighting unit at the airport, getting such equipment takes time because it may need to pass through the Senate and budget approval. But your questions are becoming too much. Do I look like a FAAN official?”
“Look everything is a joke in this country. You want to use the toilets at the airport- it is a whole new style of revenue collection. The personnel working there, they roll the tissue for you and direct you to the toilet that flushes properly. When you come out, they hold the dispensing pump of the liquid soap to help you wash your hands. Na wa! All the while they are telling you how beautiful you look and all sorts of small side chit-chat. They guide you to clean your hands. After these ceremonies- “Happy weekend sister, anything for us? One cannot even exercise his inalienable right to go to toilet in peace because financial hawks are everywhere”.
“Ha! I personally find it amusing and irritating all at once. And to think our airports are the first windows into the soul of the nation and indeed a precursor of what to expect in the country”.“In Abuja airport, custom officials have given a new spin on the interpretation of the constitution with respect to custom duties. They will tell you to open your suitcase, rummage through it and begin to direct you to where to go and pay duty on baby clothes, shoes, name it, anything you buy”.
“Incredible! Who does that? And why is the rule only enforceable in Abuja airport? Duties on children items and personal effects?”“Worse still, there is no receipt, neither is there any evidence of where the money is going to. As if, we are not saddled with enough wahala”.
“Ah, they wanted to do the same thing to me. But God pass them! I latched on to a serving Senator I saw come out of the plane and pleaded with him to allow me follow him out of the airport. Nice chap. He obliged my request. You know such rules do not apply to big men. So they could not ask to search my suitcase! I love this country”.
“Really sad. We should petition the Senate. It is not done anywhere and it is just another obtuse layer for revenue generation or should I say personal gratification”.“The Senate is too busy to be bothered about such trivialities and sharp practices especially as they are not directly affected. Right now, they are discussing weightier matters. I understand animals have invaded the financial sector now and are swallowing our sovereign national wealth. If we continue like this, our lives would literally become extinct”.
END
So ludicrously true, there was a nation! I hope my remark is not a hate speech?