The trending news a month ago on the sad incident of the young Nigerian Rapper, Singer, and Songwriter Ilerioluwa Oladimeji Aloba. Also professionally known with the acronym Mohbad – which stood for ‘Moh’ (I am) ‘Bad’ (Bad and Destined). His fans referred to him as Imole (Light). His sudden demise evoked huge emotions from not only the Youths but any caring parent due to alleged bullying. His death became a global phenomenon. Majority of people outside Mohbad’s inner circle who mourned him never knew of his existence not to talk of his music. After his untimely death, series of his musical collection has since been released, but the most poignant aspect was the catalogue of allegations of bullying incidents he experienced, which could have been prevented if only the witnesses intervened or stopped his perpetrators by speaking against the barbaric attitude and defended him.
Bullying is an anti-social behaviour which should not be tolerated in any form irrespective of the environment in which it occurs. Bullying takes place in any environment, particularly in the workplace or learning environment. It is also commonplace between domestic staff and employer, religious leader, and members of the congregation, or between a couple. People with bullying traits usually display such appalling behaviour from childhood – either at the playground with their mates in nursery and if not curbed, the bully continues into adulthood.
Bullying is defined as a repeated behaviour intended to cause harm to another individually, either emotionally, physically, or psychologically. It can take the form of name calling, making threats, physical assaults, teasing or cyber-bullying.
Cyber-bullying is usually via mobile phone (text messages, offensive images, or calls). Also, online in the form of emails, instant messenger, postings (images and texts) on Social Media Networks (Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, X, etc.). The Social Media Networks are now taking bullying very seriously where accounts can either be suspended or deactivated, depending on the severity of the complaint or abuse. In the workplace, some cases of bullying can lead to legal action taken against the culprit and can result in termination of employment.
Bullying was addressed in one of my articles published in the Nigerian Guardian Newspaper on Thursday 9 December 2021, entitled Bullying must not be tolerated in any form. In the write up, references were made to my personal experiences at the hands of a cantankerous female school mate who seemed to have an unhealthy fixation about me. This continued from my 30s to 50s and witnessed by some classmates. Obviously, the approach adopted – avoiding the individual and ignoring her antics – did not deter her because she thought I was fearful of her. At times, confronting a bully, is the best approach (some decide to physically fight back which at times work but should not be encouraged). As in Mohbad’s case, there were witnesses to me being bullied (albeit aggressive spoken words) as opposed to Mohbad’s which included physical assaults. The similarity in Mohbad’s case and mine was the fact that witnesses remained silent but would later have private chats, expressing their disapproval. In my case, the constant dismissive approach towards the bully finally did the trick.
The impact of bullying on victims tends to be overlooked. Some fall into depression and exclude themselves from social activities whilst others develop anxiety or panic attacks when the name(s) of the offenders are mentioned, or they are in physical contact with them. The worst case is when victims are too ashamed to talk to anyone about bullying or feel no one would believe them. Sadly, they feel so isolated and when unable to cope any longer, commit suicide.
To avoid being bullied, ensure you avoid people with narcissistic behaviour with potential bullying traits. When bullying occurs, confront the bully if strong enough. Otherwise, report to the appropriate authority or a Support Network that their notes can later be referenced for future litigation. The strange aspect of a bully is usually someone who has inferiority complex, low self-esteem, and feels insecure. The underlying issue is envy and jealousy of another individual perceived to have exceeded the bully’s expectations in terms of success, beauty, intelligence etc. In other words, what the bully lacks.
In the words of Alicia Garza, “we all lose when bullying and personal attacks become a substitute for genuine conversation and principled disagreement”.
Mohbad has gone but in his memory and in pursuit of providing a safe environment for all and to curb this anti-social behaviour, the government should have a Health & Safety Policy around Bullying. A ‘Speak Up Culture’ should be encouraged to prevent potential harm. It is very critical that the Federal Government of Nigeria, or at least the Lagos State Government, in which Mohbad’s death occurred, ensure that lessons are learnt from this dreadful incident. In a society that wish to create an enabling environment, peaceful co-existence and youth empowerment, it is imperative to take prompt and drastic measures to prevent recurrence. Everyone should have a right of association with whomever s/he chooses and be comfortable to express opinions without fear or intimidation.
Lagos State, whose motto is ‘Centre of Excellence’ and the pacesetter for all the other 35 States in Nigeria, should have an Anti-Bullying Policy which must be introduced in all Schools, in a form of a Handbook. The Education Board must create an awareness on Bullying through seminars and trainings. There should be Champions in local communities to promote the Anti-Bullying Initiative. It is high time to stop the culture of silence or voyeuristic behaviour where bystanders or witnesses to a sad incident derive enjoyment from seeing the pain or distress of another individual. People should be encouraged to ‘Speak Up and Speak Out’.
To Victims or Survivors subjected to bullying, be strong, be bold, be courageous. In the words of the late U.S. Congressman, John Lewis – “Never let anyone, any person, any force, dampen, dim or diminish your light”.
To renew confidence of Nigerians in the judicial system, Mohbad’s perpetrators, if found guilty, should face the full wrath of the law to serve as a deterrent to other malefactors. Mohbad’s case is in public interest and so, justice must be served, regardless of the social status of the people involved. No one is and should be above the law. In support of Human Rights Activists and Parents outraged by the death of Mohbad, Benjamin Franklin’s (one of the founding fathers of the United States of America) words come to mind – “Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are”.
Do not stand to watch whilst someone is being bullied in your presence. Intervene, or immediately report the incident to the appropriate authorities. You could save a life. The greatest tragedy is not the brutality of the evil people, but rather the silence of the good people – Martin Luther King Jr.
Fatusin is a freelance writer, motivational speaker, social justice influencer based in the United Kingdom. Convener of Renewing the African Mindset (R.AM.) – a discussion platform for African social issues.
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