Our focus this week is on keeping a joyful home. In addressing most issues in life, the foundation is crucial. What is the foundation of that marriage you are into? What is the foundation of your search for a life partner? Or even the foundation of the home filled with children? Though many of us believe that the spiritual influences the physical, we need to check and re-check the foundation of our physical life and, if possible, reflect on the spiritual. Somehow, this wasn’t the topic I planned to write on after last week’s edition but I believe I am being led by the Holy Spirit to write on this topic because of someone or some people. For many of us, the foundation of what we expect to give joy but has not manifested is the cause of our failure in that aspect. Let’s begin by discussing how we choose a marriage partner.
Who is your would-be spouse?
The word of God, according to Proverbs 18 verse 22 (KJV), states: “Whosoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord”. But how do you find a good wife? Pastor Enoch Adejare Adeboye, General Overseer of RCCG, while speaking at the last Holy Ghost Service, in a sermon, titled, Victorious Grace, said there are a lot of women but not all could be wives.. He said “ finding a good wife is warfare”, just as finding a good husband is warfare. These days, people go on the internet to marry people they barely know. As usual, I’ll share with you the experience of a young lady who was married but now divorced.
This Nigerian lady lives in Europe . She realized her children had become grown ups and would soon leave home. Hence the decision to search for a husband and she chose the internet. There , she met a Nigerian man who lived in an Asian country. Before anyone could say Jack Robinson, a marriage had been held in the Asian country to enable the man move to the Europe to stay with his wife. Once he got the resident permit, he began to show his true colours. He became an absentee-husband .
Unknown to the wife, he had become a commercial sex worker to Caucasian women . He kept late nights or never slept at home. The man cleverly shunned church wedding and would not cooperate with the wife to do anything that could make both of them have children. Till today, they still live together but the lady expresses her frustration with the marriage anytime she has an opportunity to do so.
Forbidden steps
Even for those in marriage, some Christians subject themselves to all sorts of fetish cultures in a bid to keep their marriage or please in-laws. How do I know? First, let ‘s see what the Bible says about marriage. Matthew 19 verses 5 and 6: “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife; and the twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore, they are no more twain but one flesh. What, therefore, God hath joined together, let no man put asunder”. Some men have chosen to remain boys even in marriage. In other words, they are not man enough to take decisions on crucial issues affecting their homes. A man is not a man in the real sense of the word if he keeps reporting every issue in his home to his parents rather than discuss with the wife.
In the case of a young man in his late 30s known to me, he told his parents everything about his wife’s past that it got to a point that they had to force her to go and swear before an oracle. She, being a church worker, instead of standing firm on the word of God that we should not bow before any other god, succumbed to their pressure and took the oath. Unknown to her, this oath was meant to put an end to the marriage. Remember, she thought she would take the oath to keep her marriage. On the contrary, after the oath, her relationship with her husband got so bad that the husband threatened to kill her. Eventually, she had to leave the home. Guess who saw her out of the gate? Her father-in-law. Who became the mother of the house? Her mother-in-law. Up till the time of writing this article, that marriage remains in tatters.
The couple remains separated. The issue here is simple. Be conscious of what you must not do as a Christian, no matter the challenge we are facing. This woman failed to act like Joseph who refused to sleep with his master’s wife. As recorded in Genesis 39 verse 9 ( later part), Joseph asked himself: “How can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?”. As Christians, we must bear in mind that what God has given us cannot be given to the devil or his agents to protect. Just as we should not expect that whatever is given by the Lord, He will make perfect.
The search for children
In our quest to have children, we also need to be extra careful. Why ? It is simply because everywhere in our society, the issue of having children is one that takes a new dimension daily. Someone mentioned to me that some fetish women usually come to a square in central Lagos to make sacrifices for people who want to have children. She said she has seen many women have children after taking part in the rituals. These women certainly represent man-made gods. Therefore, a couple interested in children should never patronize such people.
The word of the Lord on child-bearing is very clear. It states in Psalm 127 verse 3 : “ Lo children are an heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is his reward”. This should assure us that it is only God that gives children. Children given by any other means cannot give us a joyful home. We are also further assured of this special blessing of the Lord in Psalm 128 verses 2and 3: “ For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands ; happy shall thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house; thy children like olive plants round about thy table”. This, however, comes with a condition. Psalm 128 verse 1 states:”
Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walketh in His ways”. We must remember that Joseph feared God, hence he stayed away from sin and got his dreams fulfilled. For us to be fulfilled, we must learn to fear God and live according to His word. Did I hear you say no one is perfect? Yes, no one is perfect but we must be seen to strive to live according to His word. Entertain no fear. God will surely grant your heart’s desire in Jesus name.
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