When a friend lived with the brother and his wife, visiting her meant running into the sister in-law.
… whom we fondly called ‘Aunty K’.
Describing ‘Aunty K’ in two words…Beautiful woman!
Yet, something about her seemed odd.
…we (friends of her sister in-law) had visited one day and met her in the sitting room-playing with the kids.
As soon as we were seated, she excused herself and then re-appeared… wearing a ‘bum-short’. Another time, in the same house, a lady stopped by.
Introduced herself as their next door neighbour, who had just moved in.
Again, ‘Aunty K’ excused herself (after offering a seat to the lady) and re-emerged…wearing a ‘bum-short’. I took a second look at the ‘new woman’ and I got it.
She was wearing a short!
Unfortunately, I cannot recollect what my friends and I were wearing on the other occasion.
I see ‘Aunty K’ in a lot of women these days.
…women who see ‘competition’- where none exists.
…women who lose sleep over the antics of younger ladies-that aren’t even half ‘the woman’ they are.
I have lost contact with the family but wherever ‘Aunty K’ is; I have never stopped wishing she can see some of us now.
We have also become women and mothers. And a lot of us (even with less number of children) didn’t exactly turn out ‘better looking’.
Yet, she let ‘bodies’ that have never weathered the assault of multiple pregnancies and age become her nightmare!
A friend would often say ‘’if you have walked in my shoes and been through all that I have handled in life, then, we can talk’’,
‘‘And until then, you can’t be my measure/yardstick of self worth.’’
When I read the ‘advice’ (on the social media) that accompanied the picture (of a barely dressed lady) that was posted by the wife of an actor, here.
I remembered ‘Aunty K’.
The advice read, ‘’if you want to keep your man, always wear sexy things at home.’’
A lot of the comments that greeted that post actually disappointed me.
None of them educated our lady that a woman’s SEXINESS also embodies…
Hygiene, disposition (sexy women have a certain WARMTH about them),
Efforts towards one’s physical and emotional wellbeing,
Spirituality, attitude, intellectuality, etc.
Here’s my point…
At certain stage in a woman’s life, her pursuit of sexiness takes a subtle but an all-encompassing approach.
Sexy isn’t only exuded through wears. You also risk the tag of ‘tacky’…if you over do it. For the umpteenth time, I began to wonder how we became a generation that ate, slept and walked keeping a man!
The gym that I used to visit is full of young girls that are obsessed with ‘squats’…they claim make the butts bigger.
Now, I am really feeling sorry for men.
It must be acutely suffocating to find oneself in settings where every effort is geared towards keeping you.
…when you don’t belong in a museum-where things are kept.
*chuckles*
Dear sisters,
Doing sexy is good. But you will always get it wrong if all your efforts are aimed at keeping anybody.
Superficial attributes don’t make (especially ‘marital’) relationship.
In fulfilling relationships…everything but personality is secondary.
This is the reason quotes like ‘’everyone needs that someone who can tolerate all your flaws and still stay’’…irk me to no end.
Don’t be a deliberate hindrance to your own happiness.
If you have attitudinal issues, deliberately work on YOU.
The human spirit is rather embracing of SUNNY vibes.
If you are an odd being, it tells on you-even with all the sexy wears in the world.
Whatever you have with anybody will always reflect the level of relationship you have with yourself.
Thus, sexiness is effortless if your awesomeness has you in sight!
END
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