There are some topics that seem to regularly make themselves relevant, simply by how they show up in some manner in our daily lives. One of those topics is mental health which is the umbrella under which there are so many variations and dimensions.
Most health conditions tend to present with generally similar symptoms. There are some similarly recognised symptoms for certain mental health problem, such as schizophrenia, post-traumatic symptoms disorder (PTSD) and some others. Depression is one of those conditions that can be gender specific in its presentation.
As I go about my daily life in the UK, I am struck by how many women, some friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family members are walking around with mild to more obvious symptoms of depression. Paying closer attention to my own mental health due to being exposed to more stresses and having to face ongoing challenges on an almost daily basis, I am more acutely aware of these symptoms around me.
Depression covers a spectrum of moods and behaviour that ranges from disappointment and sadness of normal life to the bizarre and more severe suicidal acts of severe melancholia.
Traditionally, when one hears of depression, the image is of a sullen, unhappy looking and unsociable individual. The truth of the matter is that there are a lot of people whose behaviour are the complete opposite, but still bear the burden of depression. One of my close friends has an amazing job. She is studying for a graduate degree, owns her own home, very active in the church, very personable, enjoys an active social life but she continues to act in ways that suggest the opposite to all these positive accomplishments and attributes.
Whenever she hears of anyone’s suffering or misfortune, for some reason in her mind, it translates to her own suffering or misfortune. I am constantly reminding her that she wasn’t the one who experienced those situations. However, she continues to assimilate and over identifies with any situation that will allow her to engage with a depressed state of mind. These are more subtle signs of someone experiencing depression but are functioning on the periphery of any diagnosis. She is unable to identify or recognise how her behaviour needs closer examination. It has become the norm for her. There have been occurrences in her life that have been traumatic and which most likely have left scars that have impacted on her psychological ego.
Depression, as a normal mood, is a universal phenomenon which is familiar to us all and from which no one escapes. It is characteristically evoked by loss of close interpersonal relationships and blows to self-esteem. Apart from the obvious symptoms of crying, unable to enjoy life, sleep and eating disturbances et al, another mood that often accompanies depression is anxiety, a sense of fear and intense worry.
There are many additional disturbances which accompany the central mood disturbance. The most characteristic are disturbances of thinking, often summarised as helplessness, hopelessness and worthlessness. Feelings of worthlessness range from a vague sense of lowered self-esteem and denigration of accomplishments to intense feelings of failure. Feelings of guilt and self blame for real or imagined feelings often accompany the sense of worthlessness.
Feelings of hopelessness may range from concern over realistic future problems to the sense that the future is entirely grim, all is lost and even as extreme that one faces nothing but eternal damnation (particularly if you have a strong religious belief).
Women in particular hold on to significant experiences in their lives for many years that hugely impact and become displaced in how they live later on in life.
I attended a conference some time ago which was mostly attended by professional women who had attained quite significant accomplishments in their careers. As I spoke to many of the delegates and sat in workshops listening to the discussions by these distinguished, beautiful women, the common theme that I observed and experienced from them was an abundance of anxiety, fear, insecurity, and an undercurrent of hostility and resentment, masked by eloquent speeches, a show of confidence, and a flurry of over activity.
There clearly has been a predominance and preponderance of depression in women globally. One must speculate about the role that social conditions and the rapid pace and pressures of an accelerating world play in this phenomenon. Political and social conditions, characterised by the lack of a cohesive value system or even shared sentiments, is leading towards something that is beginning to resemble the twilight world.
If life stresses, especially negative events and separations is associated with the development of depression, it’s not a huge leap to make that we have created an extremely fertile environment for depression to flourish. The disadvantaged and changing role of women must play a significant role in the predominance of depression in women. Hostility in depression has been empirically studied and incorporated in theoretical formulations. Some studies have suggested that the expression of hostility in depression varies with personality type. It is thought that depressed people with hysterical personalities tend to show more overt hostility. Women from ethnic backgrounds tend to possess these types of personalities from a psychological point of view.
I sometimes wonder how many of our women in Nigeria are depressed, are showing symptoms of depression and living their lives with mild to severe levels of the illness. Depression can be a very insidious illness in that if left untreated, it will slowly but surely get worse and can then degenerate or erupt very quickly
While I in no way advocate the return to days when women were unable to attain their full potential and aspire to reach for the stars, I am somewhat troubled at what price we may be paying for not getting the balance right. It is imperative that you understand what is going on for you emotionally, psychologically, physiologically because as women, a lot is expected of us and there is a tendency to collude in the attitudes society has towards the need of women. There is an expression that we are our worst enemies, in that we don’t support one another enough and we are manipulated into making enemies of ourselves rather than exercising the natural powers the divine has given to us to nurture.
While women may be less inclined to ignore their physical health, they most definitely continue to ignore their mental health at great peril and cost to themselves, their families and society at large. There is nothing shameful about talking about how you are feeling emotionally, psychologically or looking for an explanation or understanding of these uncomfortable feelings you are experiencing. Knowledge is power.
Women have traditionally and culturally had a lot of expectations placed on them and have often conducted themselves as super humans, in an attempt to hold on to their husbands, keep their families together and in modern times, carve out careers for themselves. Society tends to be more unforgiving on them if they fail in any of these areas and are less critical of men in the former two.
Husbands, family members and friends should be more vigilant about the mental health of their female relatives and friends. They must learn how to pick up on those telltale signs that something may be wrong. However, it is even more important for women to have enough self-awareness and insight into their own wellbeing to make the necessary adjustments required to maintain a healthy mental health.
Punch
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