Sign of maturity
It is often assumed that when a woman shows jealousy in a relationship with her man, it is an indication that she cares a lot about that man. The society has even gone a notch up to say that a woman who is never jealous or who doesn’t show it does not really love her man enough. But when we sit back and take a critical look at what jealousy is all about in a relationship we will find out that it involves a negative evaluation of the possibility of losing something special we may be sharing with our partner. The loss of a favorable human relationship to someone else.
Nobody is immune to jealousy, of course. It’s like being immune to hunger, anger, fear or any naturally occurring mental or emotional state of being. Anybody can feel jealous but some people may be naturally more jealous than others. Jealousy, like fear or hunger, is just a feeling. But jealousy isn’t really a response to seeing your partner with someone else, at least not directly. It is more about your own security or insecurity than it is about the actions of your partner. In being jealous I believe the woman is mainly troubled by an existing inferiority complex rather than by a perceived threat of winding up in a situation where she will lose what she thinks she has with her partner.
The feeling of jealousy in most cases is concerned with a current situation in which the inferiority complex she feels is already evident for the world to see. It’s true that we all need to show a measure of trying to protect what we feel belongs to us and I will be the last person to say otherwise, but jealousy is most common when somebody feels insecure, mistreated, threatened, or vulnerable in a relationship and it is more of a personal thing than anything else. It is more of an indication that the woman feels her needs are not being adequately attended to or met by her partner. In my experience, the key here is to address the underlying causes of jealousy if possible, before they become something physically explosive. I believe that in most cases, a woman’s feeling of jealousy stems from her desire to be favored in some respect and her feeling that she is not. While this feeling may not be wrong, it is the fear of the choice of someone else over us that actually contributes to the painful nature of jealousy. The issue of preference is of crucial importance in jealousy and that’s why most women and some men too will not hesitate to show it openly.
This therefore suggests that the feeling of being jealous stems from the fact that she believes that her choice of devotion to her man may be threatened if she doesn’t show that she is not comfortable with the situation on ground as a free, responsible person able to make reasonable choices of protecting her territory. The question I normally ask women who show that unreasonable jealous streak is whether they really think they can watch their partner enough to keep him from cheating if he wants to do so. And the answer is that they really cannot. So why try to get yourself worked up over something you really cannot control? On one hand, you have no indication that he is predisposed to such even if your friends tell you otherwise that all men may be dogs. And you can’t stop him if he wants to.
If you’re concerned that you’re not interesting enough for him, why are you getting worked up on him instead of trying to make yourself a happier person? On the other hand how does throwing tantrums, incessantly nagging or physical and verbal altercation make the situation better? For me I’ll say that it doesn’t. It just makes you more worked up. This is not about your partner. This is more about you. Finally, talking from the male perspective, I will say that indeed men are better off without that jealous partner and we really do not have anything to fear when a woman does not get jealous or stops getting jealous because it is one more step towards her becoming more matured and self-confident with herself and the relationship we share.
Bad Omen
Jealousy, as far as relationship experts are concerned is a tangle of thoughts and emotions triggered by perceived threats to a relationship, and it gets a bad rap because of the way some people act when it hits them. Although it is commonly seen as a green-eyed monster, whenever it is displayed, it can be a useful signal if it’s approached as a force for good. Even an adage in Yoruba language believes that no relationship is exciting without a display of jealousy. The urgent sting of jealousy is usually a sign of how important your partner is to you.
In other words, Jealousy can highlight what your value of your relationship is. It is an action that clearly expresses one’s appreciation for her partner. Because it is most times displayed by women, most people think only women show feelings of jealousy. But whichever way it comes, as soon as a woman stops show signs of jealousy over her man, that man should know that all is definitely not well again with the relationship. It means, she is no longer bothered about what the man does or how he lives his life. In short, the man in question is no longer relevant to her, so, he can as well go to hell and live permanently there. It is indeed a sign that there is fire on that mountain. The relationship, if care is not taken is simply over and it should be called off because no string or feeling is attached to it any longer. Come to think of it, there cannot be any relationship without some feelings attached whether deep or shallow. It is when two people feel something for each other that they are said to be having a relationship going for them. And it is when this feeling is tampered with negatively in a way that a party raises an alarm, that ends up being described as some jealousy.
It is when she defends which she believes is important to her that people say she is jealous. Jealousy therefore is not a wrong signal but a good one that indicates that other person’s commitment to the relationship. The following are some other positive things that an act of jealousy indicates. It is communication booster. When your woman acts jealously, you will definitely take steps to calm her down, allay her fears and worries over the situation that prompted her jealousy and this will in no small measure help strengthen your connection when you talk about it. A healthy communication draws lovers together while bottling up your jealousy over time drifts lovers apart. It rekindles your physical attraction to her.
Getting riled up at the thought of someone snagging your sweetie can be a clear sign the physical attraction is still intact or well within reach. It helps her to see with fresh eyes and rediscover the positive attributes that attracted her to you in the first place. Do you knoBad w that a partner that one has lost interest in can suddenly become much more appealing when another woman is flirting with him, which can lead to a beneficial renewed spark? So, when those actions are no longer visible in your woman, there is a cause for an alarm. It is a goal fuel. Jealousy can alert you that you’re unhappy with some aspect of yourself and it can be just the motivation you need to take positive steps toward changing it. There was this woman who was jealous because of her husband’s beautiful and fit co-worker. Unhappy with the way her own body looked, she decided to lose some weight to get more attracted to her husband. This was what she had wanted to achieve for some time but didn’t get enough reasons to propel her. The situation, at the end of the day helped her to achieve her long-time dream and this woman and her husband appreciated the result. Now, imagine a situation where a woman is unconcerned about such a development in her husband’s office. What can that spell? Of course, danger, disaffection and all other negative words that anyone can think of. It is a motivation to be a better half.
We all get busy or lazy at times, and we might find ourselves slacking off on our side of the relationship. Jealousy can serve as a reminder to be the best partner one can be. It is an instrument used to show just how much your man means to you. So, when she becomes unperturbed that you are dancing on a tin of milk or toying with a keg of gun powder, then you simply mean nothing to her. It is an attention tune-up. it’s all too easy for our attention to drift away from our most important relationship. But when it is pointed out by your partner, it is no big deal, just take note and take action. For most men, their career, jobs, businesses or some personal projects, excites them more than their women, but when the woman shows her disapproval of that, it shouldn’t be seen as an extreme but should be taken in good fate. It is for the betterment of the relationship. “ It is a gift of mutual reassurance. When a woman feels jealous, she wants some reassurance. In other words, she wants her man to say, “There’s nothing to be jealous about. You’re everything to me.” Even the man in a way feels assured that a woman is concerned about him. For him, there’s the reassurance that the woman cares enough to feel jealous and value the relationship enough to step up the game. So, why would anyone feels that jealousy is not good in a relationship? Everyone likes to feel appreciated and valued! So, when your woman stops boiling with jealousy over you, go have a rethink because it is definitely a wrong signal! There might have being a replacement for you meaning you may not be relevant to her feelings anymore.
NATIONAL MIRROR
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