Who among homo-sapiens has no story to tell? What living being has not experienced the bad or good weather of life? Any man or woman who claims to have no sweet or sour story to share is one who has never lived. We all have stories. Some of them are pleasurable and pleasant. Others are doleful and rueful. Some of these unforgettable events happened to us when we were young and restless. They occurred when we were foolish, ignorant and trying to figure out what life was really all about. They were wreaked by family members, friends, and strangers who took advantage of our puerility. They forgot that the young do grow. These people played different parts as we journeyed through life. The parts they played, both good and bad, we remember them all. Their roles in our lives created events that remain indelible in our memories. They became part of the molding formulas and factors that shaped us into who we eventually became.
Don’t you remember the man or woman who fed you when you were famished? You must also remember him who gave you a place to sleep when the roof over your head was blown away by the windstorm of life. We will always remember the ones who loved us when we had no understanding of what true love meant. We remember those who wrapped their arms around us in counsel and direction when we had no understanding how to walk the path of life. We remember them who cared for us when everyone around us kept a distance. We know them who blessed us with money when we were broke, who opened their doors when we were homeless; and who paid our rents and put clothes on our back.
I remember an uncle of mine who gave me a stack of shirts that he just bought from America. I was 18 years-old at the time and I had a few clothes. Although, he passed on recently at an old age, 40 years after, I still remember his soothing and comforting words as he handed the shirts to me. Here I am writing the experience for the world to read. How can I forget such a man who gave me cover when I needed it and couldn’t provide for myself? The good and the bad done to man are not easily forgotten.
We remember those who paid for us to resit many failed examinations. They never got tired of us because we were failing. We remember those who gave us books and pushed us to read because they believed we would one day lead. They saw something in us that we did not see in ourselves. And they saw well. Several years later, we remember all of them. Good and evil deeds are not easily forgotten. About a month ago, a brother reminded me of an encounter he had with me in 1997 after a church service in Washington DC. This was his story: “I only told you that I loved the vest you wore and you asked me if I wanted it. I said YES. Immediately and on the spot, you took off the vest and gave it to me. I still have that vest till today.” I don’t remember the encounter, but he does. I was near breaking into tears as he recalled the event. People will always remember the good and the bad done to them and to others.
Also we can never forget the uncles, brothers, sisters and friends who brought us so much pain. When our backs were against the wall, we remember asking them for help. We remember when they said “NO” and how disparagingly they said it. We remember them. When they thought that our lives would never make any meaning and they mocked every move we made. We remember their lousy laughs and degrading jokes behind us and to our faces. We remember them all. Those who refused to give us 50 kobo to catch the bus back home when we visited them. We remember trekking miles away back home with tears in our eyes and groaning in our spirits. We remember the uncles who chased us out of their houses when we sought assistance.
How can you forget the man or woman who set you up for failure and those who hated us because they hated our parents? Those who despised us because they wanted only their children to remain rising stars. We remember them. Uncles who lied on us and spread false stories around town because we were in the challenging seasons of life and our stars weren’t shinning just yet. We remember them. It is both a physiological impossibility and fruitless human effort to forget the past. How is it possible for you to forget the man who once wanted you killed? How is it possible to forget the woman who once hurt you badly? How is it possible to forget the human gang-up that almost destroyed your destiny? How is it possible to forget a so-called friend and loved one who once betrayed you?
To forget the past means there is no acknowledgment of history. And where there is no history; there is no completeness to human stories. We all have stories to tell. If you forget those who hurt you yesterday, there is a good possibility that tomorrow you will forget those who are helping you today. Hurts and helps are all special events that make up our life’s stories. A man’s stories become his history. A man without history is a man of mystery and from another planet. It is both an impossible human task and a physiological impossibility to forget the past. We were not wired by God to forget the past. If we were, there will also be no thanksgiving.
As I conclude this treatise, permit me to make a quick mention of this important point to those who have been hurt and bruised by those they trusted. It is possible to move beyond the painful and hurtful past and chart a new course forgiving those who hurt us.India’s Mahatma Gandhi once said these words: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”.
We will always remember love extended to us and forget not hate hauled in our direction. Once we were young, now we are old. One day you too will be remembered for the bad you did and the good you didn’t hold back. Whichever way, good or bad, love or hate; you are affecting lives. And those lives will never forget what you do.
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