If you realise that the truth has a way of surfacing (no matter how long it takes)…then you will make the efforts to ‘come as you are’ in your relationships…no matter how unsure you are. If it’s meant to be… ‘coming as you are’ won’t change a thing. And if it’s not meant to be…all the manipulations in this world won’t hold it together. Besides, none should really be judged, as we don’t have much control over certain issues of our lives.
Make up your mind to start on an honest slate-with whoever. If he/she doesn’t want you…someone else will!
You should not withhold these vital facts from whoever you are in a relationship with…no matter what.
Your age: Editing one’s age used to be a turf of the females but some males are now adept at it.
There is no need for the desperation of under aging yourself in a bid to ‘net’ a partner. Whoever that is not comfortable with your age should look elsewhere…love can happen to anybody at any age. Sometimes, I feel people lie about their age because they feel they are not where they should be in life, but…the ‘lying’ doesn’t change your reality!
Your relationship history: No, I don’t mean a list of those that have farmed in your garden*wink*. But letting a prospective partner know your real marital status (divorced, separated or widowed) is not negotiable.
It is ‘mean’ to deny the child you had outside wedlock. Sometimes, a partner needs to know your story, not to judge you but in order to relate better with you and your baggage. It is your choice to give or deny him/her such opportunity.
Health/Medical history: This includes certain genetic ‘disadvantages’ (e.g. mental issues).
Also, HIV status, Genotype, etc. Don’t knowingly rope another into what he/she knows nothing about and expect a ‘for better for worse’ reaction from them. Inform them, let the choice (to stay or walk) be theirs. It’s even for your own good, because a dogged lover will walk through it all with you. And you won’t have to bear such emotional burden alone. Don’t assume that everyone will ‘run’ once they know your story…there are people who walk where angels fear to tread-when they are in love. Your issue could be nothing to them. But don’t keep them in the dark.
Economic standing: Not necessarily ‘how much’ you have in the bank but then, don’t claim to be into contracts or ‘self employed’-when you are actually jobless!
Such cheap lies reduce you. Being forthright increases your chances of being assisted or getting support. Learn to face reality too, what may seem as ‘rejection’ to you could be life telling you to ‘get your acts together’…before ‘man/woman matter’. You may also be lucky to meet someone who won’t mind carrying you along.
At every point in life…you owe whoever that is coming into your life a full disclosure of what they are getting themselves into. An expected liability is easier to handle.
Academic qualification: Yeah…education enhances one’s chances of understanding our world better; there is no proof that the most educated persons are the most successful in life. There is absolutely no point lying about your academic qualification. There is never an age limit to learning. You can always go back to school.
… Just know that:
Whatever you have to manipulate to get is rarely yours to keep.
The least you owe whoever that you wish to spend the rest of your life with is ‘the truth’.
Bondage is also when you carry unnecessary secrets around.
Honesty about your issues gives you ‘peace’ in a relationship.
If you have to lie to be accepted…you don’t belong there.
Punch
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