There is the myth about the super woman; you know her, the one who seamlessly combines everything. She is a wife, mother, daughter, daughter in-law, sister, career woman, cook, nurse, motivator, nanny and lot more. In fact, she is anything the occasion requires her to be, just make the demand and she will rise up to it.
In our society, women had the traditional role of taking care of the home, tending to the needs of their husbands and children. Men on the other hand were expected to be breadwinners and provide for their families. In the past, these roles were distinct and both parties were content and happy to fulfil their responsibilities as defined by their roles. While women took flexible jobs and pursued careers that were not stressful to enable them adequately take care of their homes, men took on the more difficult and rigorous careers.
Today however, the story is different. The presence of women in the workforce has increased dramatically over the year. There are many reasons for this; one of such reason is the rise of the service sector, where women can compete as well as men, and the decline in sectors where all that mattered was brute and physical strength. In this age, women are taking on roles and pursuing careers and business opportunities in areas that were hitherto reserved for the male folks, giving them broader and bigger opportunities in the market place like never before.
However, the greater and more pressing reason for the increase of women in the workforce is the economic realities of the day. In today’s Nigeria, and even in the larger world, women pursue careers, businesses and financial independence with the understanding that they would be part breadwinners in their families, many women are therefore compelled to work not by choice but by circumstance. Women across all classes now participate in the labour market, as their earnings are crucial to the economic stability of their homes.
Yet, social arrangements have not caught up with economic changes. Women are still expected to satisfactorily perform their traditional roles; they are required to give their best both at work and at home. The pressures of work, the demands from home and the need to create the ever elusive balance make this an incredibly difficult task.
There is the super woman, and then there is the smart woman. The smart woman works with the end in mind; she understands that she does not have to do it all alone, hence she delegates, supervises, and takes advantage of technology; in fact, she seeks for help.
The super woman on the other hand takes care of everyone but herself, she ends up frazzled and rattled. She tries to do everything herself. She is often overworked, tired, edgy, easily irritable and nags a lot. Most women who nag are overworked super women who feel that their spouses are not doing enough to assist them.
The smart woman get helps because she can afford it; there are many other women who have no choice but to be super. These are women on the lowest rungs of the economic ladder. The petty trader who plies her trade on the roadside, the woman who hawks her wares every morning with a child strapped to her back. This class of women constitute a larger portion of the female folks and they need the support of their families and spouses. As women become more financially responsible in their homes, the lines dividing the traditional roles get blurrier and blurrier. However, women should be supported not because they contribute to their homes financially, but because they need and deserve it.
As the responsibilities of women get broader and wider in this generation, there is a need to urgently devise a means to mitigate the stress occasioned by this lifestyle. This would require compromise, cooperation and understanding, on the part of the family, particularly from the men and children who are the main recipient of women’s labour.
I remember reading Proverbs 31, the chapter in the Bible that articulates the qualities of a virtuous woman, and thinking how impossible it would be for the 21st century woman to measure up to her, until I got to the part that mentions that she has “maids”. The Proverbs 31 woman is a smart woman, she is called virtuous because she wears all her caps efficiently and gets the help she requires.
When women are healthy and happy, they are better wives, mothers, career and business people. There is less tension in the home and with more peace, the family and the larger society are better places for this. Every year, the International Women’s Day is celebrated in the month of March; however, beyond mere rhetoric, and putting the pictures of our wives and mothers as display pictures on our devices, let us say no to the “super woman.”
Let’s encourage all the women in our lives to take better care of their health. Encourage them to rest more and delegate more, help them become smart women!
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