By Michael John
Sometimes one wonders why Nigerians bother with watching movies. I must admit, to my shame, that curiosity got the better of me and I hunkered down and watched the blockbuster “Black Panther movie.” What a movie!!! This was after decades of shying away from indulging in the creative imaginations of people by watching movies. I discovered, while watching the film, that if you peeled off the technology of the Utopian nation of Wakanda, you would be left with a story which is inferior in complexity and human elements to the actual Nigerian story. I came away from that movie, which has grossed over $800 million (eight hundred million dollars) in its first month of release, with the impression that Nigeria is a movie with a cast of 180 million people and the key actors so queer they make the entire “Black Panther” cast look like a Church Choir rehearsal. Nigeria is the real film – stranger than fiction!
An enduring plot in this film in recent times had been the “blame Jonathan” campaign. But even the longest river winds somewhat towards the sea and the “Blame Jonathan Campaign” had to end. It was politics to pin everything the Buhari government could not fix on Jonathan and his merry men. GEJ was responsible for the drop in global oil prices and the recession. He was the inventor, creator and initiator of corruption in Nigeria – before his advent the country was a country of saints, for saints and by saints. In a word, Jonathan taught Nigerians to eat the forbidden fruit. Jonathan came and taught Nigerians corruption. Jonathan was so weak, he could not even pursue Boko Haram insurgents and recover the Chibok girls.
GEJ was bad! He was even responsible (somehow) for the miscarriage of my neighbor’s dog’s pregnancy one year ago – the man could not feed the dog because of dwindling income, and as Buhari would let us know – GEJ was responsible for the drop in Nigeria’s GDP. The man who had intended to name the dog he loved so much after the president was initially sad. But when he heard what happened to the impudent fellow who named his dog after the President, he thanked God for the miscarriage. He has made up his mind that when his dog bears him some more puppies he would name one of them, “Buha” and leave the matter there. Advised to name the dog, “Jonathan,” and avoid trouble, he retorted that he wanted a tough dog that would back when things go wrong – not a weak, gentle dog. As a matter of cold fact, he has been considering naming his next dog, “Obasanjo” because he thinks Chief Olusegun Obasanjo packs a lot of bark. A rather poetic name for a good German shepherd, you must admit.
Jonathan was the bad guy in the movie who never did anything right and all his ways were evil. But alas, blaming Jonathan is beginning to sound like a hackneyed cliche and even Lai Mohammed, Garba Shehu and Femi Adeshina have decided to use it as a hook when all other hooks have failed.
Even the killing by Fulani herdsmen somehow found accommodation in the Blame-Jonathan theory. Adeshina stated with all the airs of a wise man, that the problem was inherited and showed statistics of how many were killed in Jonathan’s time by herdsmen. Now the issues do not seem to lend themselves to blaming Jonathan again but that is neither here nor there – Jonathan is the bad guy in the movie and should be held responsible for all misdeeds. This movie is getting quite interesting!
In what could only be compared to scenes in an action-packed Chinese movie, while the country is burning (110 school girls in pursuit of their future kidnapped, tens of thousands killed by Fulani herdsmen, Boko Haram on the offensive again, killing aid workers, suicide bombing and leaving a trail of blood, insecurity on the upswing, the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund concerned that Nigerians are geting poorer and the economy is getting worse, Transparency International pointing out that Nigerians are more corrupt now than when they had a little bit of “Goodluck”… the list goes on), some governors and other APC party stalwarts are canvassing that the Big Boss should run for a second term. The Big Boss? Oh that is President Muhammadu Buhari.
Why should he run for a second term? Why should he not run for a second term? One reason he should run for a second term is to fix the mess he has gotten Nigeria into. Talking to a young lady who was a Buharist in the 2015 election, she pleaded with me to give her hope that Buhari would not stay beyond 2019. “My mother told me in 2015 to have my head checked for supporting Buhari,” she said, “Now she is having the last laugh. Just give me hope! I have suffered enough. We will all die…”
Hope is a scarce commodity these days. Its light is flickering against the storm of blood in the conscience of the nation. Blood desecrates our nation and taints every news in our country. There is no positive to it in the face of government complicity or inactivity or inability to stop the bloodletting. In spite of all these, the governors want Buhari to run because that is the only way for them to avoid EFCC attention after 2019. Rotimi Amaechi wants him to run because that is the only way he can avoid the execution and implementation of the Rivers State Government White Paper which indicted him. Those who want him to run are right – self preservation is the first law of nature.
Incidentally I and a lot of others also want him to run in 2019. We want him to run home as fast as his legs could carry him. So run! Buhari, run!
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