The story that broke out about a popular pastor quoted him as saying,
“When my wife cheated and had an unholy child, I covered her up but when mine happened, she started blackmailing me,”
…while announcing the break-up of their marriage to his flock.
A man that reached out to me in the past told of how he relocated to the UK (from their base in the Caribbean) for better career opportunities.
But, he began receiving anonymous mails from someone who seemed to know him so well.
The content of those mails had to do with a guy that had begun to pay his wife (whom he left behind) nocturnal visits.
The sender even boasted of having ‘more proof’ if he was interested.
As much as he communicated his resolve to keep his marriage (after his wife’s denial), it didn’t seem like he believed his wife was innocent.
Years down the line…the marriage is still there but our man has reportedly gone away from the straight and narrow by philandering.
A dear friend once claimed that if he ever walks in on his wife with another man – he would drag the man off his woman and take her home.
Just when I admired such gallantry, his next line communicated the message clearly.
He said that he would take her home but only so she could TELL him why it happened.
We all know such TELLING never happens.
It’s even safer she finds her way to her Papa’s house from the venue of the rendezvous!
A story was told about a popular herbalist in a community.
Part of his popularity had to do with his very beautiful and young wife, who had a reputation with men.
It’s claimed that the man largely watched as she ‘came and went’ from the house as she liked.
I heard that the lady disappeared in the most mysterious of circumstances.
And the man didn’t bat an eye about her fate.
A senior friend who has just divorced his wife (of over 25 years) claimed that their marriage nosedived due to her “irritating attitude”.
His usual defence with some of us that intervened at the outset of their problem was “after all, I forgave her when she cheated on me with my best friend”.
Yet, it would seem like a less serious issue brought down the marriage.
These tell me that no matter how unconcerned a man sounds about his wife’s infidelity…the fact remains that most of them CANNOT handle it.
It will remain an unresolved issue (deep down)…even for those who choose to hold on for reasons best known to them.
Look how easily the pastor told the world that a child (who has probably only known him as DADDY) is UNHOLY.
Such utterances don’t come from a place of true forgiveness.
By the way…no child is UNHOLY, regardless of the circumstances surrounding their birth.
Actually, the UNHOLY ones are the adults who have acted like infidelity is a marathon fest in a supposed ‘born-again’ marriage!
However, my point is this…
As a married woman, before letting yourself cheat on your husband for any reason,
You had better decide within you that IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER IF THE MARRIAGE PACKS UP.
It’s called “taking responsibility for your actions/choices”.
It’s HARD to find true forgiveness from a man at the receiving end of a woman’s infidelity, especially in this part of the world.
The reality of that infidelity will remain a deadweight on the marriage…until there is a SNAP.
Sometimes, a better remorse (when you have REALLY messed up) is to just go your way and lick your wound in peace.
Otherwise, you will HURT (real bad)…as situations will prove that the ‘forgiveness’ never really happened and commitment HAS DIED in the marriage!
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