Nigerians are the unkindest set of people on earth when it comes to dealing with each other. In fact, I unhesitatingly declare that Nigerians hate each other with an uncommon hatred.
Look at it this way. I bet that if you and I were to be placed on a kindness scale to find out how kind we have been to others, I would do better than you. Let me tell you why. First, I greet anyone I meet on the street with a smile. Then I regularly give my lunch to strangers. Then, biggest of all, I give my money to the poor. Did you believe me? How could you?!
To start with, it is not possible for me to smile at everyone I meet because most times I am driving, and I am too busy praying that the blessed car would not decide to stop somewhere along the road because it wants a drink of water, like a stubborn horse. It has happened before, and believe me, it was not a smiling matter. There I was driving along peacefully and minding my own business when suddenly some passersby started to gesticulate wildly to me, pointing at my bonnet. I thought they wanted a ride on it and was getting some nice, explosive expletive ready for them when I noticed that smoke was escaping from the said bonnet.
Well, I need not tell you that the story ended with me running out of the car; oh yes, the engine was still running too, thanks for asking. Luckily, some good Samaritans came to my rescue. But I did not at all like the mechanic’s question. ‘Did you not watch the temperature gauge?’ ‘Where is it?’, I replied. Also, his hooting laughter did not help any. Well, since that day, I have learnt to keep one eye on the blessed gauge, one on the road, another on the passers-by, and one on the car in front of me. Luckily, I have four eyes. Now, do you still wonder why I do not spread kindness by smiling at everyone I meet?
Then of course, I have recently found out that my weight is shooting through the roof. I cannot honestly say that I do not know why. I have long since suspected that eating too much pancakes and akara can have a deleterious effect on the body. The stupid things have a way of pretending they do not know where to go and pile themselves up instead around the waist, hips, chest, head, arms, and everywhere! One morning, you just wake up and find the scales lying to you again that you are overweight. But deep in your mind, you know it is because you forgot to be kind to people by sharing with them the little pancakes and akara you have been blessed with. Now, nature is retaliating. I have to take four-kilometre walks around my neighbourhood each dawn mumbling something about this kind of crime and punishment not being a fair bargain.
Obviously, I live a very busy life, not quite on the fast lane, but busy enough, thank you. If I am not poring over books by grading, reading, correcting, reading, writing, grading, asking, (e.g. what does a student mean by ‘snake bites student, lands in the hospital!’), then I’m teaching. For that, I find myself hopping madly from one hour to the next, trying to beat the time, the traffic, and the bathroom routine. With such unearthly engagements, how on earth do you expect me to see the beggars standing by the roadside? And when I do see them, I have sort of noticed that each one of them brings out his/her disabled arm or leg or other part (no matter how private) for my viewing pleasure. Isn’t that so annoying? So, how can I spread love and joy to those who wake up in the morning with the determined aim to take advantage of my good nature by shoving their amputations or swellings in my face? So, no, I do not give my money to the poor; I am too busy and grumpy to see them.
Not so, says the World Kindness Week which ran from the 13th to the 20th of this month. During that week, we were called on to remember the usefulness of performing acts of kindness to our fellow human beings. We were told to remember what kindness is all about and what it looks like: having enough compassion to be considerate and caring towards others, particularly those who cannot pay us back. Like the beggars.
I have always said that Nigerians are the unkindest set of people on earth when it comes to dealing with each other. In fact, I unhesitatingly declare that Nigerians hate each other with an uncommon hatred. It is only unkindness that can prompt anyone to hide the public’s millions and billions and trillions of Naira in untraceable accounts and then run behind his race or religion for cover against the rest of the country. It is only unkindness that will make a driver of one of those big Jeeps or Lorries or Trailers shove everybody else off the road into a ditch or even death just because the law is too weak to catch them. I know someone who died from that. It is also unkindness that would make a Nigerian carpenter or plumber promise that he would be with you at eight in the morning, knowing you have an emergency, and then turn up two days later.
I have found that very few Nigerians are really humble at their jobs; they are too busy respecting money. Most public servants think that the posts they occupy deserve your unqualified worship. Woe betide your business if you don’t give it. Just yesterday, a public servant called me to enquire about my tie to a concern. When I sought clarification, he took umbrage that I dared to ask him any question. Once in their uniform, most defense corps personnel that man Nigerian roads become wear arrogance as an overcoat. They throw politeness and kindness out the window.
Listen, there are too many reasons why we should be kind to each other. To start with, the world is round. Really. You see, what goes around does come around. Someone told the story of how he was travelling along a lonely road early one evening and came on a vehicle that had pulled up by the side of the road. The owner had run out of fuel. He parked his own car, satisfied the owner’s fuel needs before going on his own way. Not long after, he had a mechanical failure on a lonely road too, on a dark, stormy night. He could not believe it when someone pulled up beside him and helped him out of his jam that night; no money could have bought that.
It is true though that much danger sometimes attends an unwary act of kindness in Nigeria because we have so much to deal with – wickedness, superstition, ritual murderers, and yes, policemen who jump to wrong conclusions, etc. One family was said to have been on a journey and came across what looked like an accident victim. Stopping to see what they could do, they were soon surrounded by ritual murderers who had used a decoy to get them to stop. To cut the story short, they lost a son to the cut-throats that day, and the family has not been the same since then. We are each other’s victims.
Nevertheless, the World Kindness Week is here to remind us that kindness is not an old-fashioned word. It still lives, and everyone can do with a little bit of it; for many, even a smile would do. Today, give a cup of kindness to your parents, family, friends, neighbours, fellow Nigerians. One day, you just might need it back.
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