In the last few years, whenever someone’s come close to my coochie, she’s clamped shut and stayed shut.
I discovered this one night on my back while giving someone (who was The Most My Type) my best “come here” eyes, and they were kneeling over my body when suddenly it happened.
No matter how gently they pressed their finger or dildo against my opening, she wouldn’t open. Cool, Coochie. Real cool.
So, I booked an appointment with a pelvic floor therapist who, after touching around my its and bits with a lubed-up latex glove, diagnosed me with a hypertonic pelvic floor. (In most cases, you’d see a gynecologist for a diagnosis and then get a referral to see a PFT.)
For me, a hypertonic pelvic floor means that my pelvic floor muscles are where I hold my stress — as opposed to, say, my traps, lats, or jaw.
Her recommended plan of action: Masturbate more. Fun! Do a yoga-esque sequence of Cobra, Down Dog, and Frog Pose every a.m. Easy enough! Start using vaginal dilators…
Huh?
Before I started using vaginal dilators, I’d never heard of ’em either. But I’m 2 months into my program, and my muscles are finally learning how to relax. I still need to rely on CBD lube and tons of foreplay, and sometimes I have to press pause and move on to non-penetrative activities… but for the first time in a long time, penetration is actually happening! And sometimes it even feels good.
So, for folks who have questions, I asked vulva health experts to explain what dilators are, who they’re for, and how to use them.
“Vaginal dilators are a medical tool used to either relax and stretch the pelvic floor muscles and connective tissues to reduce pain or help desensitize hypersensitive vaginal tissue,” says Heather Jeffcoat, a doctor of physical therapy who specializes in sexual dysfunction and incontinence.
Basically, they help the vagina expand in size (and get used to size).
Usually made of medical-grade silicone or hard ABS plastic, vaginal dilators may look like dildos — but unlike dildos, which are generally designed to go in and out with speed, dilators go in and stay in.
Most dilators come in a set of five or six of increasing size. The smallest is usually no bigger than a thin tampon or a pinky, and the largest is closer in size to a medium banana.
“The idea is that you start by inserting the smallest, gradually increasing the size as insertion and penetration begins to feel comfortable,” explains women’s health expert Jennifer Wider, MD.
The experience can differ from vulva owner to vulva owner, depending on the W-H-Y behind use. But it should never be excessively painful.
“Most folks describe it as feeling pressure,” says Dr. Wider. “If there is a sensation of pain, pause, try to relax, and start again.” If you’re still feeling pain, the dilator you’re using is likely too large.
Once it’s in, your expert will tell you to either lie there or manipulate the toy so you can internally massage hard-to-get spots within your pelvic floor, says Jeffcoat.
With patience, dilators can work, but the timing may vary depending on the condition or reason you’re using them.
According to Jeffcoat:
- Experiencing pain when inserting something small, like a tampon, will resolve within the first 4 weeks, as long as you’re hitting the right spots.
- Pain with penetration from slightly larger objects can take anywhere from 6 weeks to 8 months to improve.
- Constant vulvar burning, endometriosis, or another chronic condition can take a year or more.
Please where can someone buy a dilator in Lagos?
You can contact me on 08095118218