“Hello Chuks. How are you doing? “I’m fine sir.” “Are you on vacation? I have been seeing you around since last week.” “We are not on vacation. The school was shut because there is no light and water on the campus. The students were planning aluta and when the school authorities got wind of the plan, they hurriedly asked us to vacate the campus.”
“But you just said you were fine.” “Sir, that’s Nigerian thing. Even when things are not fine, we pretend as if all is well. Remember there was a time we were rated by one of these international agencies as ‘the happiest people on earth.’ You know we like to do what late Fela Anikulapo described as ‘suffering and smiling. I wonder how they will rate us now that ‘everything is jaga jaga.’’
“Are you another Eedris AbdulKareem? I learnt former president Olusegun Obasanjo chided him for waxing such lyrical nonsense about Nigeria. That was not patriotic!” “Okay, is Nigeria not scatter, scatter and everything is jaga jaga now? May be Eedris should have waited till now before singing that song.
It would have been a chart buster! I would have bought the CD.” “Only young people like you will buy such nonsense. There is nothing jaga jaga about Nigeria o. The only problem is that you Nigerians are impatient. You want a magician as a president and when Professor Peller was alive, you never deemed it fit to make him the president.
What else do you want? President Muhammadu Buhari has said he still has three years more to turn things around? Besides, he said we wasted 16 years under the Peoples Democratic Party.” “Uncle, the president only told us what we already know. We knew he has three more years.
But is he moving in the direction that will give us the assurance that the next three years will be better?” “You sound pessimistic. A young man like you should have hope in Nigeria. Look, we need to exercise patience. There are so many saboteurs who don’t want us to enjoy the change we were promised by this administration. Diaris godu o.”
“Story, the same old story. Late Umaru Yar’Adua said a similar thing about saboteurs. Former president Goodluck Jonathan expressed a similar sentiment and now we are being asked to hold saboteurs responsible for this unprecedented power outage.
How is that our business? Must the masses bear the brunt of government’s inefficiency at all time there is failure in governance?” “Are you asking me all these questions? Don’t bring your aluta sense here o. No wonder they sent you people away from the campus.” “Sir, they are mere rhetorical questions.
And you asked a similar question a few weeks ago. Did you not ask: ‘Are Nigerians still saying: Sai Buhari?’ “Mine was a harmless question. Okay let me ask you: ‘Are Nigerians still saying: Sai Buhari?’ “Don’t ask me. Go to filling stations and ask Nigerians who waste man hours in the queue.”
“But the Minister of State for Petroleum, Mr. Ibe Kachiku, has assured us that the queue will disappear on April 7.” “I did not believe him. I will rather believe his initial statement that the queue will not disappear until May. The man was just being honest.
Perhaps, they put pressure on him to recant.” “How could you say that? Were you there?” “Our president has changed o.” “How? His integrity is still intact. He is fighting corruption. What else? He also told you that his age could slow him down.” “But he didn’t tell us that during electioneering. No wonder some people are comparing this APC with ‘one chance’ bus.”
“What is ‘one chance’ bus?” ”You are sweet talked into boarding a bus but in the middle of the road some robbers already seated in the bus will start robbing genuine passengers.” “So ‘one chance’ is like a 419 bus?” “Yes.” ”Are you insinuating that the ruling party is like a 419” “Maybe.”
“Don’t worry, Nigeria go better?” “That narrative has given us forlorn hope for years. Nothing will change o”. “Don’t worry the president has three more years.” “Our patience is running out. Nigerians are worried.” “Calm down.” ”Have you seen the map of how our president has travelled outside the country so far?” “That is mischievous. Is there anything wrong if he travels often just to make Nigeria better?” “So you can’t see anything wrong in that?” “Unless you tell me.” “Then you must be an unrepentant Buharist.”
“What is Buharist?” “Those who believe the president can do no wrong.” “Are there people like that?” “They are even plenty.” “Then count me out. The president is human. So, he is fallible. I believe in constructive criticism.” “Then tell him our patience is running out. We don’t understand this CHANGE any more.” “Three more years my friend.” ”Hope hunger won’t kill half of Nigerians before then.” “Amen. By the way l learnt NEPA people came to our street a few days ago, what were they looking for?”
“They want to disconnect electricity because people did not pay their bills.” “Are you kidding me? When last did they give us light? How will they justify the bills when we didn’t have light for 25 days last month?” “They said it was a general thing but we still have to pay o.” “Pay for what we didn’t consume?” “Yes o.”
“They have to CHANGE their way o.” “How? Has super minister Babatunde Fashola not said the new tariff is among things that will make the sector attractive to investors?” “No wonder someone said ours is the most expensive darkness in the world.” “But uncle did you remember the same Fashola said any serious government should be able to fix power within six months when he was the governor?”
“Never mind our politicians; they are always eager to make populist statements and that is the price the president is paying now.” “People are even saying Fashola has failed.” “Three more years my friend.” “You and this your three years.” “No be me o. Our president said so. I am going home. You have really engaged me.” Tell Mr. President to change this CHANGE o.”
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