Recently, I had something that unsettled me. It was about a decision I had taken three years ago and now it had gone awry. Guilt-ridden and self-blaming, I stumbled into a thought-provoking narrative by David Welch Pogue, an American technology writer and TV science presenter. He had crowdsourced a book called, “The World According to Twitter.” And every night for 100 nights, he tweeted a provocative question and then published the best responses.
Then, one response changed his life. Pogue had asked: “What’s your greatest regret?” And one @susanchamplin replied that regret was her only regret. And Pogue concurred, “Wise advice: You made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time.”
Pogue said he found that response “profoundly liberating.” And yes, I couldn’t agree with Pogue more when he said: “When you’re contemplating your own mistakes and failures, it lets you off the hook.” It says, “You did your best, didn’t you? Now, quit beating yourself up and be glad you learned something.”
Now, you may feel regrets, but the truth is you must not dwell on them. You must move on. What happened in the past happened in your best interest then. It served as a learning curve to prepare you for the future. What matters is having life. Life is a destination from A to Z. A is your birth. Z is your death. You could take a straight line-the shorter route! In this case, some have achieved what they call “everything” but reach point Z in say 35 years. But better it when the journey is zig zag, sinuous, or undulating. It means the distance between A and Z will be longer. Your success story may be tortuous, but you got to ripe old age with a sage’s crown as a bonus. And you are more beneficial to others from your life’s experiences.
Again, the “real” life is filled with twists and turns. No one likes an uninteresting book or movie. Do not regret. Rejoice instead that there will be a lot to tell about your life. A heart monitor reading that is flat means the person is dead. With life, the monitor goes up and down.
Now, Pogue went a notch further to invite his readers to submit the best advice they ever received. Here are what he got in categorised form.
Life Advice
“You’ve never seen a cat skeleton in a tree, have you?” When Alexandra Aulisi’s cat couldn’t get down from a tree, her grandmother reassured her with those words, predicting (correctly) that the cat would come down on his own. “This advice made me realise that, sometimes, you need to shift your perception of a problem to see a solution.”
“Don’t pickle things.” If you have something special, use it now, and not tomorrow. “Serve daily meals on your good china. Wash your hands with the luxurious soap you received as a housewarming gift. Drink that bottle of amazing wine right away. Don’t save things for future use-because who knows what the future looks like?”
“Sleep on his side of the bed.” Mattie Scott was told this at her husband’s funeral. “It’s truly the best piece of advice I’ve ever gotten,” she notes. “The effect was profoundly comforting, and it greatly lessened the ache of missing his physical presence.”
“Things don’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.” You might just be obscuring your own view of things.
“Take a breath.” Take a pause at stressful moments, so you don’t say or do something you’ll regret.
Parenting Guidance
“Teach your children to swing from the trees-not to keep them from falling, but to see that they never hit the sidewalk,” said Caroline Reynolds.
“These are the 10 life skills your kids will need.” Karen Rosen received, from her mother-in-law, a list of 10 things children should know how to do to be self-sufficient: Say, please and thank you; shake hands; swim; ride a bike; do laundry; cook; bank; type; drive; and clean their rooms. “And always smile at your children, so they will remember you that way,” Ms. Rosen adds.
“If there were a right way to raise a child, everyone would do it the same way.” The co-worker who offered that advice to Kevin Bolduan went on to explain that, “All new parents need to figure out their own way to raise their own kid.” Or, in Mr. Boulduan’s words: “My best parenting advice is to not take parenting advice.”
Work Life
“When you go in to a job interview, have questions ready.” Inevitably, the interviewer asks: “Do you have any questions?” When you do, in fact, have questions, “you show that you’re inquisitive and curious and eager to learn,” Gregor Gilliom pointed out. “Having been on the interviewer side, I’m amazed by how many people simply say, ‘Not really. I’m good.’ I never hire those candidates.”
“Never accept work where you’re not learning.”
The Lightning Round
“When you see a ball on the road, make a full stop. There’s usually a kid running right behind it.” – Paulina Gomez
“In life, there, are two types of workers: ditch diggers, and those who tell them how to dig the ditch. Decide who you want to be, and do it 100 per cent.” –@cooneyd554
“You don’t always have to have the last word with your children.” – Andrew Berkow
“The day of your wedding, have a good breakfast. Chances are, it’s going to get busy.” – David Rosen
“Best advice at a rocky time: Walk slow and drink lots of water.” – Sandra Barnes.
Take life easy, it’s the greatest gift.
Dr Odoemena is a medical practitioner based in Lagos
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