It would seem my major offence in that marriage was having ‘all girls’ as children. The way he was going on about the absence of a male heir…would make one think he is bereaved.
When I had our last baby…his reaction was like YOU DARE HAVE ANOTHER GIRL?
He left us in that hospital (which he visited wearing a pyjamas by the way) without visiting again until we were discharged.
I knew the absence of a male child was going to be an issue in our marriage but I just didn’t know that it was strong enough to end the marriage…if I didn’t agree to keep ‘trying for more babies.’
Or maybe I wasn’t prepared to believe the writing that I saw on the wall.
I already have three girls. And ‘no spring chicken’-age wise. I didn’t want to endanger my life. Especially after it dawned on me that I am ALL that my girls have. I must be strong and alive for them.
Every imaginable issue was an ISSUE in our marriage and it became clear that he wanted out.
I was devastated. I begged. I was even willing to accept his trying for a son out there-so long as our marriage remained.
He wanted only out of the marriage.
In no time…I heard that he was involved with a (much younger) lady.
Recently, I learned (through mutual friends) that she’s just had a baby…A GIRL!
After multiple IVF attempts.
No, I am not gloating but this has reminded me of a fact that I seem to have forgotten …NONE IS GOD!
Science (with all its wonders) doesn’t even come close.
Think about this, the next time you carry yourself like a ‘know all’.
I would be lying if I claim his attitude didn’t affect me-especially in a society that is so judgmental that… every failed marriage is ‘your fault’. But I have also asked forgiveness of God –for failing to remember that He fixes everything in His own way. And God’s way will always be to the advantage of THE JUST.’’
OBY’S TAKE ON THE MATTER…
Numerous stories like that of this lady (who wrote me) abound and it kind of makes one marvel at the patience of God towards the funniest of his creatures…humans!
Sometimes, you really don’t know ‘that person’ you are married to until the marriage is troubled. That is when you begin to wonder if you actually looked before leaping.
I wonder why God still bothers with blessing some ungrateful human beings with any fruit of the womb at all.
Why can’t God simply shift all the blessings to that soul who can give an arm to be blessed with a child…and it won’t matter if it is male or female.
Wonderful souls to whom a child is simply a blessing -to be cherished and nurtured and never a girl or a boy.
They simply don’t deserve to keep waiting (for the fruit of the womb) while an ingrate is being showered with blessings that he doesn’t even appreciate.
When it is alleged that women now go to any length to prove their ‘fertility’, I am usually tempted to quip…find out the nature of the ‘fire’ that she faces at home.
Don’t underestimate the desperation of the human mind in dire circumstances.
A lot of women who have seen the ordeals that their fellow women go through in the quest for a child or a particular gender (of a child) don’t wait to experience it before they ‘prepare’ themselves.
Cherish what you have. Every child is a gift from God. And you are an ingrate if you have ever cherished one gender of a child over the other.
How about NOT having any child at all?