I hate to make mysteries out of nothing, but I hope I will be sufficiently understood in telling the mischievous advocates of the Oduduwa Republic like Remi Oyeyemi, Femi Fani-Kayode, and Bayo Oluwasanmi that there is a limit of ethnic homogeneity as a basis for political organization. These apostles of ethnic jingoism should know that their obsession with seeing Nigeria destroyed by all means possible is a big waste of time and akin to waiting for the ship at the airport.
The truth is that ethnic nationalism is obsolete and will surely fail to hold up when superimposed on a territory like Nigeria shared by different peoples and cultures. Even in the imagined heaven on earth in the Oduduwa Republic, there are several feuding ruling houses. A quick flash back at the Ife-Modakeke imbecility or the recent public snubbing of the Great Oni of Ife, the revered stool in the Yoruba race by the Oba of Lagos, is a reminder of cracks that can quickly widen.
As omo Igbo, that’s not my headache anyway; all I know and care about is that irrespective of whether the Igbos are in Kabba, Otuoke, Ojuelegba, Sambisa Forest or Birnin Kebbi, we will always excel.
Recently, FFK has recognized the importance of Ndigbo in Nigerian affairs. That is why he has been eulogizing and worshiping my Supreme Leader, Chief Nnamdi Kanu. Have you wondered why FFK is always saying that the Oduduwa Republic will come after Biafra? It is simply because he ain’t got the balls to do what Chief Kanu is doing. He also ain’t got the boys that are brave enough to do what IPOB is doing.
I laughed my head off when I saw the copycats calling themselves the Yoruba Liberation Command (YOLICOM). Really? Is this the best FFK, Yemi and Bayo could put together? The spokesperson of YOLICOM reminded me of the leader of the Biafra Zionist Movement, Benjamin Onwuka, who recently seceded from Nigeria with the Boko Haram leader, Shekau, in his cabinet.
As the agitation for the Oduduwa Republic finally made it to the national news by way of the clowns in YOLICOM, I sampled the opinion of Ndigbo on their fate in the new Republic. I asked whether they are ready and willing to be treated as foreigners or “slaves” in the Oduduwa Republic and they said no. I asked if they will be intimidated by the Oba of Lagos, OPC or any other person or group and they said no. I asked if they will continue to be outgoing and fearless and they gave me a resounding, yes! These decisive answers can be summarized thus: Ndigbo will conquer, prosper and rule Yoruba land.
In the Oduduwa Republic, unlike Nigeria, Ndigbo will finally be free to start asserting ourselves. Unlike the Arewa group from the North that gave us a quit notice, the Yoruba people will roll out the red carpet and welcome us with open hands. After our invasion, the Oduduwa Republic will witness a seismic shift in the ethnic and cultural makeup of many cities in Yoruba land. Even though the Yorubas may be averse to multiculturalism, Ndigbo will force them to embrace the concept of racial and cultural diversity.
Because Ndigbo have a willingness to interact with other ethnic groups, we will settle-in comfortably in the Oduduwa Republic. Even in the early stages of the “actualization” of the Oduduwa Republic, the strong will and viewpoint of Ndigbo will be forced at the will of the majority Yoruba people. We will join Afenifere and soon be part of the powerhouses that will be eligible to be crowned Obas. We will get married to the daughters of Oduduwas, build mansions in their towns and villages and only visit our country home in the Land of the Rising Sun once a year, as usual. Gradually, we will turn the Oduduwa Republic into one of the most ethnically mixed countries in the world.
Although Igbos will be the minority group in places like Oyo, Ondo, Ekiti and Osun, we will play a fundamental economic role that supports the Oduduwa’s development and the government’s coffers that we will eventually enable us to become part of a multi-ethnic group running Ibadan, Akure, Ado Ekiti and Osogbo. In a very short time, the Igbos, the minorities in the Oduduwa Republic will be the new majority with an overwhelming political, economic, and cultural dominance.
We trust that Governor Ayo Fayose will champion the handing over of the business key of the entire Oduduwa Republic to our Supreme leader, Chief Nnamdi Kanu. All our brothers currently doing business in Kano and Kaduna will invade Lagos, Ibadan, Ota, Akure and Ado Ekiti and reestablish. I trust that our good friend FFK and Fayose will facilitate the acquisition of massive acres of land needed to accommodate the troop of Igbo merchants.
In the Oduduwa Republic, we trust that our Yoruba friends will desist from rhetoric or actions that are xenophobic. Gone will be the days when four miscreants can force the closure of Ladipo Market. If Nigeria cannot protect our rights as citizens of Nigeria in Lagos today, I am very sure our Yoruba friends will find capable Igbo men to manage the outreach between LG councils and market associations so as to minimize conflicts.
We will not shy away from politics or crossing political elites in the Oduduwa Republic. Soon, we will start contesting and winning local government elections. We have already demonstrated our electoral power in Lagos State in the 2015 general elections. To crown the dominance of the Igbo people in the Oduduwa Republic, our Supreme Leader Chief Nnamdi Kanu will be invited by FFK to lead the Yoruba People. I know he will love to have his god closer home.
Just like PSG, the motto of Ndigbo anywhere in the world has been “Parc de Princes,” meaning “Dream bigger.” Ndigbo are already dreaming big about how to conquer and rule in the Oduduwa Republic. My friend FFK went berserk when Orji Uzo Kalu referred to Lagos as “no man’s land.” I wonder what he and his fellow apostles of ethnic nationalism will do when they suddenly realize that their dream has been hijacked by Ndigbo and the entire Oduduwa Republic is transformed into a “no man’s land.”
Will FFK, Yemi and Bayo give Ndigbo a quit notice to leave the Oduduwa Republic? Only time will tell. Until then, may the hallucination continue.