Corporate Area Boys By Mohammed Haruna

Today I publish below the last of the three articles I promised the reader on March 4 in my tribute to the late Malam Abubakar Gimba, a former president of the Association of Nigerian Authors, a great writer and, for me at least, one of the greatest personifications of humility and simplicity. The reader will recall that I promised to reproduce the three articles, including one by Gimba, which were my best in the last fifteen years, for their eloquence and continued relevance to our politics.

The 2011 column by Eniola Bello, aka Eni-B, ace columnist and now managing director of Thisday, reflects on the shameful role so-called Corporate Nigeria has played in our politics – and economics – since at least 2003, culminating last month in a whopping 21 billion Naira plus fund raiser for President Goodluck Jonathan’s campaign war chest, and this in flagrant violation of our Constitution and Electoral law.

Before Eni-B’s piece, however, a word about the almost full page advertorial that has been published by virtually all our national dailies since last weekend, claiming that a vote for General Muhammadu Buhari, the presidential candidate of the All Progressive Congress (APC),  on Saturday will be a disaster for Nigeria and Africa. The message was simply good old mendacious religious fear-mongering and both messenger and the vehicle which first published the claim are malicious neo-conservative demagogues.

First, the vehicle. The Washington Times (WT) was founded in 1982 by the media arm of the controversial Unification Church whose founder is the even more controversial late South Korean, Sun Myung Moon. The church has been accused of brainwashing its members and its founder was convicted in 1982 for tax dodging in America. WT is arguably the most right-wing and the most Islamophobic newspaper in that God’s own country.

Richard Grenell, the author of the article, is as right-wing as WT, possibly even more so, as the longest serving spokesman of the American Permanent Mission at the United Nations when the Republicans held sway in the White House. He became the first openly gay spokesman of a Republican presidential candidate when he was briefly hired by Mitt Romney in the 2012 American presidential election which Romney lost to President Barack Obama.

As for Grenell’s message, the least said about his crude and clearly untenable attempt to link Buhari with Boko Haram and to the even more bloodthirsty ISIS in the Middle East, the better. Ostensibly sponsored by a “Move On Nigeria”, the message had the character of PDP and Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor’s CAN, as the religious wing of the party, stamped all over it.

And now to Eni-B’s corporate area boys.

 

Jonathan and the Corporate Area Boys

By Eni-B Thisday 30 May 2011

 

They came from all parts of the country, even if it wouldn’t be out of place to describe them as the Lagos business crowd. They were dropped one after the other in state of the art cars at the entrance of the State House, Marina Lagos. They turned out mostly in well tailored suits, with not a few in full national attire, particularly of the South-south variety. They milled round the expansive premises of the State House as early as 6.00pm, men and women ostensibly at the top of their game. They exchanged banters all around – a handshake here, backslapping there; a hug at one end, a peck on the cheek at another.

In this select crowd were most of Nigeria’s biggest entrepreneurs, bank chiefs, captains of industry, CEOs of blue chip companies, top players in the oil and gas sector, and many other big employers of labour. All members of a group elegantly called Corporate Nigeria, those in this privileged crowd were at the State House, Marina Tuesday last week to honour the invitation of President Goodluck Jonathan, in what was described as a thank you pre-inauguration dinner.

Jonathan had every cause to host Corporate Nigeria to dinner. For one, many members of the group dipped their hands into their deep pockets for hefty donations which Jonathan generously deployed to fund his presidential campaigns. For another, in other climes, such presidential dinner provides a good avenue for a serious head of government to socialize with the crème de la crème of the business community, put faces to names, drop one or two ideas on the administration’s economic direction, and get some feedback on business challenges from government action or inaction. What can be achieved in such an informal environment may be much more than days of tedious sessions at workshops and seminars.

Unfortunately, neither the president nor Corporate Nigeria seized the opportunity to make any meaningful statement. Neither appeared to understand why the need for that kind of presidential dinner.

Guests were supposed to be seated before 7.00pm when the president was scheduled to arrive. Jonathan did not arrive until 8.00pm. And there was no apology for arriving an hour behind schedule! Could that be an indication of the respect he has for the members of Corporate Nigeria? Even with Jonathan seated, it was a battle to keep the guests on their tables. There was a complete breakdown of order and discipline as many people moved from one table to another ostensibly to exchange greetings, but apparently to be noticed. Nobody listened to Compere Ali Baba’s repeated appeals that guests should keep to their tables and stop moving about. Was that the respect the president was deserving, even with envoys of other countries quietly seated? Or was it just a general lack of decorum and self-respect, an indication of the disorganization in the nation’s business community?

The conduct of the business of the day was not any better. After the Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Mallam Yayale Ahmed, had introduced the president with the usual time-wasting flurry of protocols, Chairman Stanbic/IBTC, Mr. Atedo Peterside, set the tone of what was to come in what were described as goodwill messages. First, he said Jonathan’s victory at the polls was not because of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) but in spite of the party. Then he said at his polling unit in Victoria Island Lagos, for instance, the same people who voted for the Action Congress of Nigeria (ACN) in the National Assembly polls voted for Jonathan in the presidential, before returning to vote ACN in the governorship and State Assembly elections. Concluding, Peterside said his wife and daughter not only assisted INEC officials in counting the ballots during the presidential elections, he added that it is members of Corporate Nigeria who should thank Jonathan for saving them from going on exile should some other candidate have won the election.

Following Peterside’s speech, there appeared to be a competition among the other speakers to dress Jonathan in borrowed robes of undeserving praises. One speech after the other got worse in fawning adulation and praise singing. Chairperson of Emzor Pharmaceuticals, Mrs Stella Okoli, spoke about Jonathan’s wisdom, intelligence and humility in a gaseous effusion that was more emotional than meaningful. When Wakilin Adamawa Hassan Adamu said Jonathan is the only incumbent that has so far organized a credible election in Africa, I couldn’t help shouting in shock disbelief. Otunba Funso Lawalwon the award for cringing servility. He not only gave the president a Yoruba name, ‘Oladipupo’, he called First Lady Patience Jonathan, ‘our beloved mummy’. Although I couldn’t see Lawal from where I was sitting in the hall, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he gave a deep bow while acknowledging Jonathan’s wife.

Not one of these speakers who spoke for Corporate Nigeria mentioned, even in passing, the serious challenges Nigerian entrepreneurs face daily. Not one of them said anything on what they expect from the president to make the business environment friendlier. Not one cared to point out what could be done to make the economy better. There were no demands and of course, Jonathan made no promises. Only Bukola Saraki who represented the state governors reminded the president that those in the hall expect from government policies that would grow the economy, make their businesses thrive so there could be more billionaires.

When it was about 10.30pm, close to four hours after the event started, and there was still no sign Jonathan was going to speak, I took my leave. I could not understand how a president who is concerned about the problems of the country could afford four hours at a dinner that should end in two hours, listening to meaningless speeches. I could not understand how serious CEOs would waste executive time patronizing the president with words they even do not believe.

Listening to those speeches, the image that immediately came to my mind was that of Area Boys who ambush car owners in Lagos traffic, cringing and begging for money even while barking platitudes in that guttural voice, “Father! You will live long! Chairman, more blessings!”

I now know how most members of Corporate Nigeria only thrive on waivers. They are no more than Corporate Area Boys.

NATION

END

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1 Comment

  1. It’s unfortunate that none of the speakers could tell the president the truth, perhaps for fear of being labelled radical. They are all hypocrites.

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